Anatomy of a Trailer: New in Town

1. Didn't Hollywood stop making 'yuppie city folk get stuck in small town America' comedies like 20 years ago?

2. Renee Zellweger's facial expressions make me want to go back in time and punch her pregnant mother in the belly until she bleeds

3. Slapstick comedy seems to prevail throughout with Renee running into glass doors, skidding on ice and generally feigning being comfortable with physical comedy yet seeming to sadly avoid any serious injuries

4. Harry Connick Jr plays her love interest which hints that every other leading man in Hollywood turned the role down first

5. When Renee says lines like 'I will not get personally attached to this town or anybody in it' you know full well that this will turn out to be total horseshit by the end

6. There looks to be a comical sequence where Renee gets drunk and is taken home by Harry, who plays a small-town tow-truck driver, and even he doesn't want to rape her

7. Even though she plays a rude, uptight, snobby bitch, the Bush-voting, sexist, right-wing locals seem to welcome her with open arms

8. 'She may not be where she expected, but she's warming up to the possibilities' says the voice of the trailer - what the fuck does that even mean?

9. The film is populated by a collection of wacky elderly women with token Minnesota accents as including any younger women would highlight how repulsively unattractive Renee Zellweger really is

10. Its released in January in the US - the same month which in the past has seen Bloodrayne, Kangaroo Jack, Win a Date with Tad Hamilton and Codename: The Cleaner come out